I’m in La Paz, Bolivia, 21 years after flying through here for the first time on an internship. Exactly half my life ago. It’s a work trip, but I came a full day early and it’s been a sweet retreat, introvert time, journaling in cafes and losing myself inside my own head time. I need more of this in my life.
I feel in some ways like I’m coming out of a chrysalis. I spent most of the past seven years in crisis mode, between grad school and parenting small kids and moving halfway across the world twice. There’s this vast inner landscape of turmoil and disaster and now I’m setting to work putting things in order, picking up bags of trash, clearing downed branches out of streams and waterways, planting little seedlings and flowerbeds. Sometimes I pause and look around and just cry because there is so much work to be done, and it’s not just for me, it’s for those small vulnerable little people who call me mom. But it’s good work too, and the aching muscles and blisters feel really good.
I need more solitude in my life. I need to order things in such a way as to find it.
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