Archive for the ‘SQ news’ Category


January 21, 2009

I learned Sunday night that a friend of mine experienced a 1st-trimester loss just days before Christmas.  She is publicly upbeat about 2009, but I am just so sad for her and her husband right now.


Good thoughts

April 10, 2008

Please think good thoughts for SARAH, new friend from yoga class, who is headed for dIUI this weekend.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck

September 6, 2007

Sorry for all the profanity. Sara S-P just got the worst news. Am in shock.

SQ news

August 22, 2007

Baby Blues just got some bad news – run over and give her some love if you have password.

From the front lines

August 15, 2007

Last night I had a lovely phone chat with a friend who just got a BFP after a loss. “We’re excited,” she said in a low monotone. Uh huh. (I’m so totally rooting for you, A., if you’re reading this!!! Sending out positive thoughts and energy into the universe for you…)

She also told me about someone I know by name and position but haven’t met personally who is having triplets after IVF! But get this – only two embryos were transferred, which means one of them split! That’s pretty fascinating.

And finally, pg teen from church was just hospitalized at 33 weeks, I’m not sure why, but it looks like delivery is forthcoming. Nervewracking I am sure.

I’m not sure why I feel the need to catalog all these little tidbits. It feels like knowledge.

Outta here

July 22, 2007

We leave for Bolivia today – started spotting last night – here’s to the last gasp of the summer.

This past week has been all about touching base with SQ friends. Saw SQ friend yesterday who offered me her leftover injectables. She’s going to do one more IUI and then call it quits. They’re looking into local adoption agencies. She looked so small and forlorn when she told me all this.

I had this bizarre dream the other night where an older friend was coming towards me, and when I saw her bump (she’s not pg IRL, I think her husband recently had a vasectomy in fact) I threw myself into a pit of mud, then buried my head in it while I heard her talking with others about me (all very concerned and sympathetic). Then I went into another friend’s house to get all my stuff I had stored there, and she herded her small children away from me in fear that I was going to steal them. “Infertile women aren’t crazy!” I shouted, and ran away.


April 21, 2007

So, I may have really screwed up regarding the friend who told me about her m/c recently. Since I’m in another state, but I was feeling really bad about it, I wanted to send her something – a card? What? I went to the campus bookstore and bought a little teddy bear that said “someone at CU loves you” on it’s t-shirt. Or at least, that’s what I meant to do. I actually bought one that just said CU on it. And I had a really hard time picking out a card. I got one with subdued flowers on it, blank inside. Then I needed a bag for the bear. The only gift bags they had were super-duper festive, so I picked the most subdued looking one, put it all together with a note in the card, and sent it to her with my husband last weekend. He says he delivered it on Wednesday. The next day I got a mass e-mail from her with a new e-mail address, so I quick wrote her a note saying something like, “T says he delivered the thing I sent you last night, I hope it wasn’t too cheesy or festive, I just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you and am really sorry for your recent loss. Love, E.”

Did I do right? Did I fuck it up? I feel like such a prat. I’ve read tons of blog assvice about how to respond when a friend experiences pg loss, but I can’t understand what it really feels like from the inside.

I’d say she and I are pretty good friends, we used to work together back in the day, but since she had her fist kid we pretty much stopped hanging out. Not so much because of my infertility (after all, she was my first friend to struggle with IF herself, so I know she’s been there) but b/c of the change in their lifestyle. Nonetheless, she’s really been there for me a couple times when I was going through hard times. Maybe we’ll hang out some this summer. Anyway, I don’t want to bug her with annoying “didja get my message? didja? didja?” but I am worried that I may have goofed with the gift and am not sure how to find out whether or not an apology is in order. I feel shy about phoning and putting her on the spot. Maybe I’ll give it a week or two and then phone. Hm….

In other non-news, I’ve decided I will not POAS as day 28 draws near. I’ll just keep monitoring my temperature. The IUI instructions said at the end that if using progesterone a false positive is possible on a HPT, and wouldn’t THAT suck.

I’ve been eating like all the food in the world might disappear tomorrow and I feel fat.

Sliding Scale of Happiness

March 21, 2007

(nod to the Town Criers) 🙂

I just ran into a fellow Stirrup Queen who was out with her 3yo on this lovely warm day; she’s the one I mentioned recently experiencing secondary IF. I ran over to get an update since I hadn’t seen her in months and months. She said “well, we did 3 IUIs, and third time’s a charm!” They haven’t told people yet b/c she’s not very far along and they’re kind of holding their breath while waiting for the ultrasound. I had a momentary pang of doom in my heart, but my SSH rang a 10, just because she gives me hope.

I know I can’t hitch my chariot to someone else’s star, and hope’s a fickle friend, but for the moment I’m soaking in the spring and feeling the presence of the goddess (at least metaphorically!)