In few days, I’ll be getting on an plane to Guatemala for a 2-week work trip. Without my family. This will be my longest time away from my littles. I’m both excited about the professional development aspect… and reclaiming a bit of my sense of self… and terrified about missing them. And them missing me. My in-laws will be coming to help out for 11 days while I’m gone – I won’t actually see them myself, but I’m really thankful they’re taking the time (and expense) to do this for us.
I realized something recently: I find motherhood as exhausting and frustrating as I find it rewarding and satisfying because I just don’t have very good parenting skills. I just don’t. I watched a young single woman interacting with my kids the other day and saw how good she is at it. At setting boundaries. At being calm and creative and sensible. I think I need a Super-nanny intervention or something. I’m just not very good at this… and I think that’s why I never really liked being a SAHM.
I know I’m learning… it’s all a work in progress… but I wonder what kind of damage we’ll all be undoing for the next 15 years because of mistakes I’ve made in the first 3/5?
Gimli bought me a jade plant last weekend. I love it so much. I also bought myself a dozen hand-made soaps and some incense sticks… and suddenly our apartment feels so much more like MY home. It’s a good feeling.