Just checking in…

The truth is I miss Albania. Sometimes acutely. I miss the four fresh produce stands located within a block of my house. I miss the grocery store right across the street. I miss the boulevard, the central square, the view of Dajti. I miss Dhurata.

Our last afternoon in Tirana, Dhurata put Oz down for his nap while I sat in the living room working on my laptop. I could hear her singing to him in the next room – ‘Oh Dhurata’s baby boy, Oh my little rabbit’ – the rise an fall of a melody in a minor key that she sang to him from the time he was a tiny baby. That last time, her voice was so rich and full with love and tenderness – I can’t recall the moment without dissolving into tears.

Our place here is good, but it doesn’t feel like home. Not yet. It’s hard to imagine that it will… Sometimes I wonder if we made a mistake in coming here. I don’t dwell on it though.

My parents are here (yay!) and Gimli is away again (boo!). This time I’m the sole one in charge in the office as well as at home. I’ve been utterly exhausted. The first ten days after my trip to SF were brutal. I sat in meetings pulling the tiny hairs on the back of my neck to stay awake. I drank five cups of coffee one morning without the least lessening of fatigue. I had a four-day trip away from the kids (where I took the photo that is my new header!) and miraculously caught up on sleep, but the exhaustion has crept back again now that I’m once again co-sleeping with my nursing toddler. Maybe after Christmas we can make some adjustments…

My parents are house-sitting a lovely home about 20 minutes away by taxi or commuter bus. There’s an utterly tranquil back yard where the kids played all afternoon on Saturday. I think we’ll be spending a lot of time there over the next two months of their stay! Our holiday break is from Dec. 21 to Jan. 14 so that should be a good chance to regroup.

Advertisements

5 Responses to “Just checking in…”

  1. Mud Hut Mama Says:

    I feel for you. Moves are so hard under the best of circumstances and you just seem to have so much on your plate with adjusting to a new job, new country and having Gimli away so much. Thinking of you and hoping that your parents visit and your upcoming break give you a chance to rest and recharge.

  2. tara Says:

    Places often feel more like home in retrospect. Hopefully though you’ll start to feel like you’ve achieved a pattern for your new life.
    Glad you have such a long time with your parents!

  3. jjiraffe Says:

    I love your new photo.

    I haven’t made as many moves as you have but each one was hard on me, especially the move from London to California. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I hope with the Christmas break maybe as a family you’ll get a gentle and gradual chance to acclimatize. Can you hang some art, photos that give you a homey feeling? Sometimes that helps…

    (((Hugs)))

    • Elizabeth Says:

      J, I did put up a bunch of construction-paper art that we had on the walls in Tirana – I think it made a big difference both for me and for the kids. Decorating for Christmas has been fun too. Thanks 🙂

  4. Rachel Says:

    I’m so sorry. Moving is hard, I can’t even imagine what it is like moving across the world.

    I hope you are able to quickly adjust and feel like your new home is home.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: