I learned from a church e-mail that she had her thyroid removed recently; I didn’t know until another friend told that it was cancer. And that there might be more.
Rose’s daughter Violet is what, 10? 11? and has never met her father, although he’s been sending checks more-or-less monthly since she was born.
It’s hard to know what to do from so far away. I imagine she is scared out of her mind, probably more for Violet than for herself.
And then there’s this silly thing I’ve been sitting on, meaning to talk with her about it when we get home, now wondering if maybe I shouldn’t wait – several years ago, when Rose was dating a guy I’ll call Ron, whom Violet adored and asked repeatedly to be her daddy, I ran into him out with another woman (also, oh rock and a hard place, a good friend of mine!) one afternoon – and I never told Rose about it.
She found out eventually, from someone else, shortly after Ron stopped returning her phone calls. He ended up knocking up and then marrying the other woman (Diana); their daughter is about 6 months younger than Illyria. We continued to socialize with them as well as with Rose and Violet, just not at the same time. When Illyria turned two, I debated whom to invite to her party, and ended up choosing Ron and Diana mostly because their daughter is closer in age to Illyria than Violet is.
And…. I feel horribly guilty, still, about never telling Rose that I knew about Ron and Diana, and about not inviting her and Violet to Illyria’s birthday party. It seems like silly stuff, but it also seems important.
So, is it worth bringing up now? Because really, at this point it’s more about ME seeking absolution, forgiveness, and relief from the guilty feelings, than about what Rose might be needing right now.