Thank you all commenters for your encouragement – I had no idea this post would strike such a chord. It’s stressful, mothering small children in our social context, and it brings such tremendous change to family/partner dynamics.
Things got a LOT better with Gimli once I implemented some changes in how I do shopping and meal planning. For a few days I was feeling a bit glum that he never acknowledged the changes, but then just in the nick of time he gave me a big hug and thank you. It doesn’t just feel good to be acknowledged, I think it’s absolutely necessary (I’m trying to think of a stronger way to say that – perhaps “absolutely, completely, utterly, and in all other ways necessary, required, and important” comes close-ish).
And things got a lot better with my self-concept after getting some words of encouragement from friends (Tara) 🙂 who have gone this way before.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how my experience around Illyria’s birth (the hypertension, pre-eclampsia, hospital bedrest, and cesarean birth) influenced my relationship with her – much of it predicated upon pity, which isn’t, I fear, healthy in the long run. But I don’t think I have the time and energy right now to write about that. In fact, I think Oz is waking up from a blessedly long nap right now so I should run – but wanted to post a thank-you and little follow-up from the last post.