Sarah’s post on this topic reminded me of something that happened at church a few weeks ago.

I was sitting in the library with V. because she was getting too antsy in the sanctuary.  The library at our church is a nook that opens off the main hallway running between the foyer and the church offices, where the nursery is also sited.

As we sat there, I heard crying – a woman who is in the midst of a custody battle for her two girls was standing in the hallway just outside the library,  sobbing to break your heart.  I’ll call her “Bobbie.”  Another woman comforted her as she poured out her story.  After a while Bobbie calmed down and then came into the library and we were talking about her situation.

Then another woman, “Lindsey,” walked down the hall, taking her little one, Luke, to the nursery.

Bobbie called out to her, “What a cutie!  You need to get him a little brother!”

Apparently Bobbie hadn’t heard about Lindsey’s recent miscarriage. 

To make matters worse, when Lindsey walked back to the sanctuary, Bobbie repeated her injunction, which Lindsey ignored.

“Maybe she didn’t hear me,” said Bobbie.

“I think she might be feeling sad,” I said.  “She had a miscarriage a few weeks ago.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that.  But it was after Luke?”

I nodded, and that was the end of the conversation.  But… Bobbie seemed to be suggesting that having the m/c after the first baby hurt less.  I don’t think it did.


4 Responses to “drive-by”

  1. Rachel Says:

    I think you’re right.

  2. tara Says:

    blech, even sadder since it was all saints day and AGAIN I felt like there should be some way for those who have miscarried to feel INVITED to light a candle.

  3. eep6 Says:

    Yes, and it would be good to have that space opened up at other times of the year as well.

  4. docgrumbles Says:

    I cannot imagine it would hurt any less.

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