Hope springs eternal, I guess

So we’re going to stick with the Baby Whisperer one more night, at least, and see how it goes.  The twist is I’m going to my MIL’s for the night.  As soon as the Super Bowl is over, T. is coming home and I’m out of here. 

Baby V. is fast asleep as I write this, about 40 minutes after I put her down with a record-breaking 3 minutes of fuss!!!  WOW.  We have a modified CIO plan in place if tonight is another fiasco of hourly waking. 

I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight. 

I really hit a new low today.  Every little thing made me cry.  I kept thinking how I’ve failed my baby, failed as a mother, how I wasn’t meant to have her, how it was a mistake to keep trying all those many moons (32, to be exact).  Seeing her smile through her fatigue, her eyes all puffy and red, just broke my heart.  She hasn’t been sleeping any much better than I have since we moved her out of our bed. 

Well, I’d better pack up my toothbrush.  Tomorrow is another day.

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2 Responses to “Hope springs eternal, I guess”

  1. farah Says:

    wishing you much peaceful rest

  2. grad3 Says:

    I know how hard it is to feel like a good mother when you are sleep deprived. The fact that you are is a great indication that you are indeed a fantastic mother.

    I hope that you don’t wake up every couple hours and it’s the best night sleep ever!!! Hugs

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