CIO, yes or no?

My MIL offered to stay with Val overnight if we wanted to let her cry it out while we stayed somewhere we couldn’t hear. 

Every morning between 4 and 5 a.m., I am so tempted.  One of T’s colleagues says she did it and is soooo glad she did.  Another friend said “babies are resilient, she’ll be fine.”  Dr. Weissbluth recommends it.  My in-laws support it.  Thanks to the sleep deprivation, it’s getting harder and harder for me to a) think, b) keep my cool… and my A-exams start Monday…

But… can I bear the thought of her crying to sleep every night for a week???   That’s how long it took T’s colleague.  Would I/we be able to refrain from going in to her?  Because the only way it would work would be if we did not give in.  Give in once and you’re worse off than before, right?  Would it destroy her faith in humankind?  I was telling my MIL about the attachment theory reasons against CIO, and she said “well I guess we traumatized our kids then, and so did every other parent in our generation.”  Well, maybe ya did.  T’s younger sister has been completely estranged from them for years, but I didn’t point that out.  There are a lot of other factors in that dynamic but all I’m saying is CIO might have gotten them off on the wrong foot in the beginning. 

Please weigh in!!!


4 Responses to “CIO, yes or no?”

  1. Mrs.spit Says:

    I don’t have kids, (other than Foster Kids), so I’m not sure what my opinion is worth. I did CIO with my foster kids. I wouldn’t today. I can’t point to anything, other than to say I didn’t finish it feeling like I had given those kids as much love and care and concern that I could have. I didn’t leave it feeling like I had done anything other than compel them to bend to the will of somone older, smarter, more vocal and more powerful than they are. I wouldn’t do it again.

    But, you know what? Lots of people do it with great sucess, and their children go on to live very normal lives!

    I think whatever you do, you will love your wee one an enormous amount and it will be ok in the end.

  2. Farah Says:

    i knoe CIO has worked for a few on the internet recently .. I am sure if you would like I could give you their blog info. They had success when they sent in their husbands to calm the crying baby.

    Recently, for naps, we have tried to do a lil version of the CIO method. MT has certain days where the crying is just banter, self soothing chatter he does until he falls asleep. I do not check on him when he is doing that type of cry. But the unconsolable screaming for security cry I cannot ignore. I will try at first to soothe him back to sleep by rocking hte crib or rubbing his tummy, replacing the pacifier. Sometimes this works like a charm, some times not. If the screaming continues and does not let up, I just can not let him cry for that long. Maybe I am weak but i truly just can not not pick him up because i know the crying will stop if i do. if the crying doesn’t stop, we put him back down and continue to try to soothe w/o holding

    but i tend to cling more to attached parenting principles and just could be too weak to completely do the cio thing or my situation hasn’t reached my breaking point.

    you gotta do what works best for your family

  3. Caro Says:

    I couldn’t do it, but then T rarely cries for no reason – if he did maybe I would have to try it.

  4. Rachel Says:

    We did CIO. It wasn’t easy, but I don’t really regret it. Oh, I shed tears and I was not as consistent as I should have been, but within a week LG went to sleep much easier, fussing a few minutes, instead of screaming for several. We don’t have any sleep issues today.

    If you decide to go for it, take your MIL up on the offer. She will be able to tell better if Val is crying for attention or due to hunger, because she won’t have all the emotion involved and her breasts won’t be throbbing.

    I did find that it was easier to do CIO with SB than with LG. Also with SB it only took a couple days to work whereas with LG, it took longer.

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