Tara had a great reference today to Mary and Martha, how it’s hard to be both at the same time. Wow did that resonate with me. I’m still contemplating it. Right now baby is sleeping on my chest while I try to answer e-mails and work on my course, which met for the first time today. When I walked away from the apartment where she was still sleeping beautifully this morning, the tug and pull at my heart took me by surprise. It’s not the first time I’ve left her in someone else’s care for a short time, but I guess this was the longest stretch so far – four hours. I felt kind of like Lyra in the Golden Compass moving away from her daemon. I walked across campus feeling like part of my body was missing.
Otherwise, the day went well. This afternoon I was able to read while she kicked around on a blanket, nursed, slept, etc. – not as much as I’m used to being able to, but enough that I felt like this semester MAY be do-able.
But it will take discipline, and it will take figuring out. I feel like we’re slowly getting there. Slowly.