I am so bummed. After a really good night with readings as low as 118/64, in the morning I was back up to 140/102. Currently it’s 187/86. In other words, I’m all over the place. Critter, however, is doing so well that they took me off the belly monitors altogether.
The pee test results came back; I don’t know what these numbers refer to precisely, but my number is 144, which is good: their cutoff is 300. So, no delivery today. The doctor said she expects we can hang on for at least another 2 weeks.
So that all sounds nice and calm and rational, but inside I’m still reeling. Delivery!?!?!? 2 weeks?!?!??!?! What the hell happened to SIX weeks to go?
When she told me that I wasn’t going home today, and was DEFINITELY not to travel until after the baby is born, I pretty much had a meltdown. I was supposed to go home to VA for my baby shower this weekend. My sister had bought tickets to fly in just for the event. My friends had put all this work into planning it. We’d finessed hostessing roles with my MIL.
And now there are all these fears about delivery – Critter is breech, as confirmed by the u/s yesterday. Will I not even have a chance to try unmedicated labor and vaginal delivery? I feel (again) cheated. It’s not fair. So here I am having my own little pity-party, while I try to remind myself that I’m the Mom, and I have to find the strength somewhere to deal with this upset. The point is to bring home a healthy baby. So I berate myself for having had the audacity to hope and dream for a “normal,” empowering birth experience.
My sister is thinking of driving up here to help out, since my mom’s not coming until May 28 (ah, optimism! Watch, while the universe stomps all over it!) and folks, our place is a MESS.