This morning I woke up at 5:30 a.m. from a horrifying dream, perhaps because T. is away for a few nights and I felt unprotected. Maybe I won’t go into all the details (they are, well, nightmarish) … but it started out with Halle Berry’s pregnancy but ended up being about me. In the dream, I voluntarily submitted to an unanesthetized abortion, only it was performed on my heart.
Thankfully, when I woke up the baby was kicking up a storm. When I couldn’t get back to sleep, I finally said “ok baby, you’re awake, I’m awake, let’s have some music” and played my guitar for awhile. The dream faded, and eventually I fell asleep in the warm cocoon of my bed while the snow and freezing rain fell outside.