So when I dashed into the pharmacy to pick up my Clmid, this is what ensued:

I lean forward to sign the electronic tablet that says I have declined to be counseled about this prescription. As I pick up the stylus, the smiling male pharmacist says, “think positive, sometimes that thing doesn’t work too well.”

“Think positive,” I mutter as I scribble my name. But wait – there’s more.

Smiling Male Pharmacist: So you know the protocol for these, right?

Me (starting to feel the tears rise): Yes, it’s my third time through this.

SMP: Well, I just think it’s a good thing when good people really want to be parents. So many people just aren’t ready, or they’re really young, or they don’t know what they’re doing and all of a sudden they have kids and they just don’t raise them well.

Me: Uh-huh. [I pick up the paper bag with the pill bottle inside and stare at it without seeing.]

SMP: I think it’s wonderful when people adopt, you know, those poor kids get to come to America, where there’s just so much abundance! You can sign them up for any kind of services, you know, that kid never has to play the Lotto cause he already won the jackpot!

Me: Uh-huh. [I’m folding the top of the bag over, creasing it carefully in a very straight line.]

SMP: You know I had these friends who were having trouble, and I told them “just relaaaax! If it’s meant to be it’ll just happen.” And you know once they stopped trying so hard, it happened! And then they couldn’t stop! They were like, “how do you stop? We’re going to end up with 8 or 12 kids!” It was like once the dam broke, the floodgates just opened up!

Me: Wow. [fold, unfold, refold. Repeat.]

SMP: You know what I’m going to do, I’m going to pray for you.

Me: Thank you. [I flee to the wine shop resolving to switch pharmacies at the earliest possible opportunity.]

In a really strange way, though, and after two big glasses of wine at dinner, I am delighted with this exchange. It was just too perfect. It was like someone handed him the list of “things NOT to say to an infertile person” and he just read right through it like a manifesto. It was so completely surreal and bizarre that in a way it was completely wonderful.

Hurray for hormones, you never know when you’re going to hit the upswing!


11 Responses to “Wow”

  1. Kami Says:

    At first I liked what he said . . .about good people wanting to be parents. Too bad he didn’t stop there. I can’t believe he told the story about his friends. Ug.

  2. Caro Says:

    OMG. I agree with kami it’s a shame he didn’t quit while he was ahead.

  3. Jackie Says:

    In my opinion, pharmacists should keep all commentary to themselves. They are there to dispense drugs and inform the patient on how to take them. Bah!

  4. Samantha Says:

    I agree, that is classic commentary infertiles should never hear! It’s almost like he went out and read the book of what NOT to say!

  5. Heather Says:

    I applaud your ability to not slap him. At the least I would have screamed, “SHUT UP” and I ran crying from the premises.

    I never had a pharmacist talk to me until I started getting my scripts filled at WalMart. And that guy says the same thing every time. Medical jargon…and then “GOOD LUCK!” with a really big cheesy grin. It always makes me laugh.

  6. SaraS-P Says:



    I wonder if he chats away like that to the folks picking up cancer and AIDS drugs?

  7. Elizabeth Says:

    It’s true that his first comment was kind of heart-warming and I guess that’s why I kept listening even though I was feeling really emotional.

  8. niobe Says:

    It really is so incredibly over-the-top that it’s funny in its own horrible way. And the sad thing (or one sad thing, anyway), is that he probably thinks that he was able to really understand your situation and to reach out to you.

  9. Elizabeth Says:

    Yeah so at least, um, I was able to put a bright spot in someone’s day of otherwise alienated labor…

  10. LJ Says:

    I’m surprised he didn’t recommend a vacation! What an ass.

  11. Rachel Says:

    I would definitly change pharmacies, and if you feel inclined, tell the manager. It may not help you, but could prevent that guy from saying the same thing to the next woman in your situation.

    I am sorry that you had to experience that awful experience.

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