This afternoon a friend called just to let me know how wonderful T. was last night playing hide and seek with her 6yo daughter during a potluck (where said daughter was the only child). I missed the potluck since I was off on another field trip and we got back late. My friend said, “if you ever had any doubts about how T. would do with a child, no matter how it [the child] came to you, you should lay them to rest.” It was so sweet to hear her endorsement.
Evidently someone at the potluck commented to T. that he and I need to “get working” on having children soon, if we hope to equal a relative of theirs who recently passed away with something like 400 great-grandchildren (they’re Mennonite) and she offered to say something to them for me if I wanted her to. She’s a fellow SQ of yore and I feel like she’s got my back. But I’ll probably bring it up myself one of these days.
I’m finding that as hope falters, longing intensifies and ambivalence fades.