The truth is I miss Albania. Sometimes acutely. I miss the four fresh produce stands located within a block of my house. I miss the grocery store right across the street. I miss the boulevard, the central square, the view of Dajti. I miss Dhurata.
Our last afternoon in Tirana, Dhurata put Oz down for his nap while I sat in the living room working on my laptop. I could hear her singing to him in the next room – ‘Oh Dhurata’s baby boy, Oh my little rabbit’ – the rise an fall of a melody in a minor key that she sang to him from the time he was a tiny baby. That last time, her voice was so rich and full with love and tenderness – I can’t recall the moment without dissolving into tears.
Our place here is good, but it doesn’t feel like home. Not yet. It’s hard to imagine that it will… Sometimes I wonder if we made a mistake in coming here. I don’t dwell on it though.
My parents are here (yay!) and Gimli is away again (boo!). This time I’m the sole one in charge in the office as well as at home. I’ve been utterly exhausted. The first ten days after my trip to SF were brutal. I sat in meetings pulling the tiny hairs on the back of my neck to stay awake. I drank five cups of coffee one morning without the least lessening of fatigue. I had a four-day trip away from the kids (where I took the photo that is my new header!) and miraculously caught up on sleep, but the exhaustion has crept back again now that I’m once again co-sleeping with my nursing toddler. Maybe after Christmas we can make some adjustments…
My parents are house-sitting a lovely home about 20 minutes away by taxi or commuter bus. There’s an utterly tranquil back yard where the kids played all afternoon on Saturday. I think we’ll be spending a lot of time there over the next two months of their stay! Our holiday break is from Dec. 21 to Jan. 14 so that should be a good chance to regroup.